When We Share, We Heal

Those of us who have experienced loss, know the journey through grief can feel like an uphill battle with a million detours. There are days when the tears won’t stop, days when we want to shut the world out, and—thankfully—days when we allow ourselves to smile or feel joy, even if just for a moment.

When we have been robbed of what we hold dearest to our hearts, it can be difficult to allow ourselves the space for vulnerability. A part of us feels gone, and so we protect what remains. Sometimes that looks like withdrawing, avoiding, or closing ourselves off—because protecting ourselves feels safer than opening up.

There are many reasons we keep our stories close to our hearts. They are sacred. They are the pieces of our loved one that we still hold on to. Sometimes we aren’t ready to share them, sometimes revisiting them feels unbearable, and sometimes we wonder if sharing would even help. At Living Angels, we believe it does—and science affirms what our hearts already know: telling our stories brings healing.

In recent years, more attention has been given to something called resilience—our ability to withstand life’s storms. Researchers have studied what makes us resilient and how that resilience shapes our well-being. One important framework, Posttraumatic Growth Theory (PTG), is a theory that describes resiliency post trauma in the form of positive psychological changes after a traumatic event. PTG research emphasizes three key areas: biological, psychological, and social processes that influence healing.

The psychological aspect refers to the ways we cope internally, and how we reshape our “schemas”—the mental patterns or stories we use to make sense of life. Traumatic loss often disrupts these schemas, but over time, new narratives can form that allow space for meaning, connection, and hope alongside grief.

Our interpersonal relationships also play a role in our healing. Decades of research show that Social support is protective against negative psychological outcomes and even enhances recovery after trauma. Studies have shown the association between a larger support network and fewer negative outcomes post traumatic event. Interestingly, PTG research emphasizes not just the quantity of support but also the quality. It isn’t just about how many people are around us, but how deeply they are able to support us.

For grieving parents especially, it can feel nearly impossible to find someone who truly understands unless they have walked a similar road. And while many try to help, not everyone knows how to listen, sit with pain, or offer comfort without unintentionally causing hurt. Sometimes people’s responses, even when well-intentioned, can leave us feeling more alone. On the other hand, we may encounter those who become so absorbed in their own pain that it weighs down our healing instead of lifting it up. Both extremes have been shown to hinder recovery.

So how do we find the kind of support that actually helps us heal?

PTG research points us back to the role of narrative. Healing often begins with reshaping the way we tell our stories; This is the mission at the center of Living Angels. Living Angels keeps the memory of our angels alive by changing the narrative around grief from loss to the fullness of a life beautifully lived. Our aim is to promote healing by building a community where we share the stories of our loved ones and share in the recovery of joy. Our guided memory journals are more than just paper and ink– they are sacred spaces to preserve laughter, milestones, quirks, and dreams. Most importantly, they are the beginning of a conversation and the story we tell about our loved ones. 

Studies confirm what many grieving parents have discovered for themselves, that dialogue and disclosure—sharing our experiences with others—help us process grief and develop new understandings over time. By telling our stories in community, we not only reshape our own schemas but also gain encouragement and practical coping strategies from others who understand.

Thus, when we connect with our community, share a sense of purpose, and know we are supported, grief becomes less of a solitary burden and more of a collective journey of resilience and healing. We don’t walk this path alone—our love, and the stories we tell, carry us forward together.